860.265.4427Whether you are the primary caregiver for a loved one who is aging in place or are just someone who is offering to provide care on a temporary basis you may be relied upon for a number of different things that your loved one needs. It is out of the kindness of your heart and often out of necessity that you are being relied upon by your loved one.
When you are in the midst of providing the care that your loved one needs you may not need to offer anything because there is already an expectation that you will be doing the things that your loved one already needs and expects from a caregiver. However, there may be a chance for you to get time away from being a caregiver and when that moment arises you may be tempted to offer some vague effort to your loved one. This vague effort may be genuine and sincere, but it often will come off as an empty gesture.
Say you’re leaving your loved ones home and you say to her/him “let me know if I can do anything” and they very politely say thank you and you go on your way. This gesture may seem genuine and you may sincerely mean the offer, but your loved one is very unlikely to take you up on the vague offer of help because when you are sick or alone it can be very difficult to ask for help. The same can be said for a comment like “call me if there is anything I can do.” Similarly this is an instance where you are leaving the ball in the court of someone who is in a vulnerable position and may struggle to actually take you up on your vague offer for help.
A better way to handle this situation is to make concrete offers of help to your loved one that only requires them to say “yes please” when the offer is made. Try something like, “I noticed you were out of milk when I was in the refrigerator, do you want me to go pick some up from the store?”. This concrete offer of help only requires a simple yes from your loved one who is aging in place and also allows you to lend the hand that you so sincerely wanted to offer.
